Weapon cleaning
by Maxaro
Summary: A Grimm-bone shard got stuck in Crescent Rose's shifting mechanism in their last battle, and Jaune hates seeing Ruby so frustrated and angry about it as she tries in vain to get the cursed thing out. So he does what any respectable boyfriend would do and helps her out. / Lonely-Maxaro-Combo
**Maxaro: You might have seen this story already on Lonely's profile, but we decided to post it here on mine instead because of reasons I will not disclose. Just a small thing to point out, because apparently some people don't get that not every story follows _every_ rule of canon and "logic": We are aware that Grimm remains disintegrate, we merely chose to make the process far slower to make this scenario more possible.**

 **Now, enjoy... again... maybe...**

The room was quiet. Almost completely silent aside from a quiet scrape of metal working carefully against metal. And Jaune didn't like it.

Ruby had been silent for over fifteen minutes now, completely focused on removing a shard of Grimm-bone from the inner workings of Crescent Rose that had become lodged in there sometime during a mission they had ventured out on the day before. Jaune didn't know exactly where the shard had landed or how it had happened, but it was apparently large enough to jam the shifting mechanism within his girlfriend's beloved sniper-scythe.

Now, even though she had become better at it during the years he had known her, Jaune knew better than anyone else, aside from maybe Yang, how frustrated Ruby could get when things didn't go according to plan, and he could clearly tell that she was on the brink of exploding right this moment. All because of her silence.

They were never silent when they cleaned their weapons together, either he or Ruby were always talking about something, but ever since she apparently found just where the bone shard was located, Ruby hadn't said anything. And Jaune could practically feel the tension building.

"Umm... Rosie? Are you okay? You've been quiet for a while now, is something wrong?" He asked carefully as he set aside the dirty rag he had been cleaning Crocea Mors with along with the sword itself.

"YES, EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY OKAY!" she shouted out in frustration, digging into a particularly tight little notch in her weapon. She was pulling desperately. She had gone through about four pairs of tweezers when she learned that her fingers weren't going to help, but now they were broken and she was back to just pulling on it.

If Jaune was aware of anything at that moment, it would be that things were not perfectly okay. Anyone could tell that by just looking at her. Her face was red, she was getting more and more frustrated every second.

"Do you need any help?"

"NO."

Her answer was final, he'd knew that tone anywhere. It was the tone of voice she took on (extremely) rarely that meant 'you can't argue with me.' He was okay with that. He wasn't okay with her feeling anything less than happy though, and right now happiness was not a feeling she was even thinking about. He could tell.

He let the silence reign a bit more before his own frustration set in. Just watching her get progressively more upset with each failed attempt was quite possibly the worst thing he had experienced all week, and he really, really wanted to help her.

He opened his mouth to ask her if she was sure she didn't want any help, but closed it before he had the chance. He already knew the answer, Ruby was stubborn like that at times. He didn't stop himself from getting up from his seat, though, or from walking over to Ruby's desk where her hunched over form was located.

The sharp snap of metal breaking heralded another angry shout from Ruby Rose as yet another, stupid pair of tweezers were broken in her grasp. Every second that that stupid, disgusting piece of Grimm-filth remained lodged in her baby made the reaper more and more furious. It had been bad enough when the shard had completely messed up their mission yesterday, but now the bloody thing completely refused to come out!

She was just about to throw the broken pair of tweezers in her hand into the wall across the room out of anger, but then she felt something warm enveloping the hand containing the broken metal. Something very familiar.

It was Jaune's hand, Ruby realized after a small moment, and she sent a look over her shoulder to where she could see her Knight himself standing, practically hovering over her.

"Jaune? What- I told you I don't need any help-!"

"I know, Ruby," Jaune started gently as he urged for her to lower her hand while his own other one searched for the hand still placed on her darling Crescent Rose, "But I can tell that you're going to snap any second now, and I really don't want that. Let me help you, please? Let's do this together and I'm sure that bone shard will get out of Crescent Rose in no time."

She let out a sigh and leaned back In her chair as Jaune squeezed her hand in a show of affectionate support. The stupid thing didn't want to come out for her, but maybe Jaune was thinking right, maybe it would yield to him. He was stronger than her, muscle wise, after all. "Alright, but, if it comes out, just remember that I loosened it," she said.

Jaune laughed and nodded his head as she gently picked up her baby and cradled it. "Everything will be okay, your daddy's gonna take real good care of you," she whispered to it. Jaune deadpanned. When the heck did he become its daddy, and when the heck did she start referring to him in such a way as to insinuate marriage. He shook his head and chuckled.

She handed it to Jaune, who made sure to handle it with as much care as is humanly possible, and he looked into the notch. It was hard to see because Crescent Rose was stuck halfway between forms. The bone shard was wedged in-between the mechanism that allowed the entire thing to shift from its scythe mode to its rifle mode. What kind of bad luck, he wondered, was affecting Ruby to make something like that happen?

He remembered vividly the feeling of dread he had gotten from seeing Crescent Rose try to shift, but get stuck half way. The damn thing was completely useless like this, and Ruby was forced to retreat. And just like that, they had lost their best fighter. Maybe Ruby should have covered the weak spots a bit better.

"All right, let's try and get this sucker out..."

One of the biggest secrets Jaune felt like he held in his whole life was honestly his opinion of his friends and teammates' weapons, and he couldn't help but let his mind wander to that as he closely examined the offensive little piece of Grimm stuck in his girlfriend's 'child'.

Aside from maybe Weiss, Ren, and and Velvet, Jaune felt that the weapons his friends had chosen were incredibly impractical. Sure, they were awesome as all hell, he would never deny that, but when it came down to iron clad efficiency, something that was basically metal origami would be unreliable in most circumstances and downright lethal in others.

That was honestly one of the reasons he had never changed to some other 'awesome' weapon instead of Crocea Mors. His sword and shield combo was simple, but effective. Boring, but reliable. Normal, but _safe._

Cresent Rose, or Ember Celica, or Miló and Akoúo̱, or Magnhild were none of that, and had Jaune had more heart, he might have told Ruby this as he prepared to remove the bone shard from the inner workings of the sniper-scythe. As it were, he would keep quiet about his musings, or at least for now. If Ruby found out that he thought her beloved baby was stupid there was no telling how many times she would kill him.

With a steady hand born from many, many, many hours of playing video games with his ruthless sisters, Jaune began to carefully, slowly pull on the white piece of hard bone, making sure to not get any fingers stuck in Crescent Rose's inner workings lest he lose the digit forever.

It was almost incredible just how hard the piece of shit was wedged in there, but he refused to give up. He didn't try pulling hard, Ruby had proven that that didn't work, and would have only served to hurt him, and tire him out quicker. He slowly messed around with it until it loosened just a tiny bit.

Ruby watched on in wonder as his fingers picked up the pace.

Soon enough, the bone shard was moving around, and it wasn't just stuck. And almost like magic, too quick for Ruby to see, he made a move that pulled the offending object out like it was lathered in butter.

Ruby let out a squeal and jumped at Jaune as Crescent Rose folded up completely into its easy carry mode. He was thrown to the ground as Ruby peppered his face with kisses, and assaulted his ears with cries of happiness and confessions of love that he had heard plenty of times over the years. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

Jaune laughed and just let her continue until she got tired of expressing her gratitude. She stood up from him and hugged Crescent Rose closely, like she had been separated from it for years.

"See, I told you! Daddy was gonna take care of you, and now you're all better!" Ruby cried. Jaune held in a giggle at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

He really did think the weapon was dangerous, but with how much Ruby loved it, Jaune knew he could never truly hate it. He could never hate anything his little reaper loved after all.

'As long as I don't have to change its diaper, I guess I can help Ruby raise this thing' he thought with a stupid smile on his face as Ruby herself pulled him into a deep, love filled kiss, still clutching Crescent Rose to her chest. And Jaune figured life could hardly get any better than this.

Omake:

"You should have seen it, Yang! It was so awesome! One second the bone shard was inside my baby, corrupting her from the inside, and the next Jaune had pulled it out like that sword in that story dad read to us all the time! Excal-something!"

Yang couldn't help but giggle at her sister's hyperactive jumping as she described Jaune's act of 'heroism'. She was glad Ruby wasn't bummed about her weapon anymore, and she mentally added one more Point to the not pile she kept in her head for whether or not she should kill Jaune for touching her sister.

"Yeah yeah, that sounds all fine and dandy sis. Jaune's a real hero and all that, but don't you Think it's a bit strange how he could get that bone shard out when you couldn't? And with his fingers too!" Yang asked the still jumping Ruby, sending a glance over to where Jaune himself laid Reading one of those books Blake never let anyone but him read. Apparently only he had 'refined' enough tastes to enjoy them...

"What do you mean, sis?" Ruby looked over at Yang, clearly confused and Yang let out a small chuckle at her sister's innocence. She was really looking forward to this. "I mean, it doesn't seem weird at all, he just kind of messed around with it."

"Messed around with it huh? I don't know Rubles, I mean, he must have experience with those fingers of his to be able to do something like that?" Ruby sent yet another confused glance her way, and Yang was suddenly very disappointed in her sister for not having a super large interest in sex. "I mean, can you show me what he did to get it out?"

Ruby shrugged and nodded. "I guess, he just kind of..." She brought her hand up to her face and made a lewd motion with them, a motion that had Yang snickering loudly. It was a good thing Jaune was too preoccupied with his book to notice. "And then he kind of..." She took her middle finger and her ring finger and made an even more lewd motion.

"Oh did he? Wow Rubes, looks like you're one lucky girl.~" Ruby froze, and looked at exactly what motion she was making with her fingers, before blushing bright red.

Jaune, who had been overhearing all of the sisters' Exchange merely buried his face deeper into Blake's book, hoping in vain that he would somehow be absorbed into the pages so he wouldn't have to deal with this situation at all.

"Ya-ang!" Ruby cried out as she furiously shook her head and tried to not Think about any of her elder sister's suggestions to hard. If she did, there was a chance her nose would spring a leak from all the blood rushing to her face.

"I'm sure Jauney-boy's fingers have some really good reach... I'm almost jealous of you, Rubes~..." Yang sang evilly as the the embarrassment shone clear from her two friends, their suffering providing her with endless joy.

"I've just played a lot of games with my sisters back home Before I came here." Jaune groaned from within the pages of his book, instantly regretting his choice of Words once he could practically feel Yang's smirk beam right at him.

"Oh, is that so Jauney?~ I'm sure your sisters enjoyed those games immensely, huh?" Jaune's grip tightened on the book, and he was dangerously close to ripping it in half. He just hoped Blake wouldn't be too terribly upset at him when he explained his reason for doing so was Yang. "Just thinking about it makes me jealous almost, it sounds like a lot of fun!~"

Ruby tackled her sister to the ground and placed a hand over her mouth. "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" she screamed, and Yang fought back against her, her superior strength winning out against Ruby's desperation. But the one thing she didn't count on, was that Ruby absolutely hated thinking about Jaune being with anyone else. And Yang's admittedly weird, and lewd suggestion infuriated her so much that she had gained the strength of a fully grown Grimm.

She kicked Yang out of the dorm. Quite literally. And then she hid behind her hands, realizing the situation that she had just locked herself in.

Jaune sighed as he put Blake's book down, his cheeks as red as Ruby's, and he Went to open his mouth to try and say anything to remove the awkwardness in the air, but he never had the chance as Ruby cut him off, her gaze directed at anything but his face.

"L-let's... pretend this never happened... o-okay...?" She suggested quietly, her fingers fidgiting with one Another in one of her many nervous ticks she never quite shook off.

Jaune really had no reason to not agree with her, and just got up from where he laid so he could pull his blushing Little reaper into a hug.

"Deal..."

A moment of silence passed, then;

"... I love you, Jaune... and those fingers of yours are mine and mine alone, you hear me..."

"Deal again. And I love you too, Ruby."

 **Maxaro: Another small thing to point out, just to avoid some pointless, potential reviews: No weapon is perfect. I don't believe for a single nano-second that the weapon Ruby built, at home mind you, would not have some flaws that she just didn't have the heart to correct, especially considering she's fighting using metal fucking origami... and taking the weapon apart to clean it only works if certain mechanisms aren't jammed too, so that doesn't always work (this is coming from a guy who used to clean weapons for fun).**


End file.
